


Potential

by stormysunshine



Category: Blindspotting (2018), Daveed Diggs - Fandom
Genre: Blindspotting - Freeform, Emotional, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hair Braiding, Sad, You're Val but...you lol, angry, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-24 16:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20910290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormysunshine/pseuds/stormysunshine
Summary: Collin needs help plaiting his hair and calls on his ex, Y/N, for help. They agreed on having a cordial friendship, but love has a way of connecting the past to present.





	Potential

**Author's Note:**

> "Y/N? Hey. I need some help braiding my hair...I know, I know it's last minute, but you're the only one who can do it before my curfew."

Y/N could remember the last time she and Collin made love. 

It was a week before he was arrested at the party. If Y/N knew then what she knew now, she would not have let Collin touch her like he did, love her like he did. The pain of him having been taken away was too much to bear, so she became almost a recluse. She was not bitter, at least she did not think she was, but she became mean. She pushed away those who brought her comfort, buried memories doing the same. But Collin was well-known and loved throughout their neighborhood in Oakland, and the mere mention of is name sent Y/N back into the whirlwind of an adoration she had known before. 

It was a late night. Y/N had called in, telling Collin that the office needed her to work over time for some "bullshit." Collin told her it was fine, that he would pick up some Chinese and she could sleep over at his place since it was closer to the office. She agreed, the muscles in her shoulders aching the entire drive over. 

"Babe, I've had it up to _here_ with that damn job," Y/N grumbled after entering his apartment with the spare key he left on top of the door. Collin was in the kitchen, pouring them glasses of wine. He listened as she went on, chuckling to himself as she shrugged out her jacket and told him she wished her boss would take a hike. She was so busy grumbling that she had not noticed that Collin was leaning against the threshold, the two wine glasses in his hands, and was watching her. 

It was not until his low, "Damn," that Y/N stopped talking and turned to look at him. His bottom lip was tucked between his teeth, his eyes linger on her backside. "You are so sexy when you're angry," he teased, walking over to her and handing her a glass. Y/N rolled her eyes but smiled, taking the wine and downing it in two gulps. "Shit, it was that type of day?" Collin snickered, taking a sip of his own burgundy beverage. 

"_Yes_," Y/N whined and wrapped her arms around his waist. 

"Lemme help you with that." His lips curved in the way they always did when he was being suggestive. He finished his drink and set the glass on the table. He held her chin between his fingers and pulled it down to open her mouth. He dipped his tongue passed her lips before capturing them with his own. Collin thought he was so slick, but Y/N knew that he knew that was the easiest way to get between her legs. His hands gripped the back of her thighs and lifted her off the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist, moaning into his mouth as he carried her off in the direction of his bedroom, the food momentarily forgotten.

Collin had made love to her in a way that had her wanting to marry him, to have children with him, to involve herself so deeply with his existence that they became one. The way his tongue writhed and fingers tantalized had her gripping the sheets, begging for mercy, wanting to devour him whole. She shook when it was all over, running a trembling hand through his loosened curls. He was trembling, too, as he looked at her openly, the depths of his russet eyes showing that he cared her the same way. She brought his lips to hers, gently tasting his tongue, loving him. 

And then it was all taken away over some "bullshit." 

Collin and his annoying ass best friend, Miles, had gotten into a scuffle outside of an establishment that left Collin in handcuffs and Miles a free man. During their entire relationship, Y/N told Collin that he needed to drop the other man like a bad habit, that Miles was good for getting him into trouble. 

"That's my best friend, babe. The homie! We've known each other since we toddlers," Collin always tried to reason, but Y/N was having none of it. 

"Nothing but a few good times is gonna come out of your friendship, Collin. Why can't you see that?"

Y/N and Collin had broken up the day after he was sentenced to two months in prison. It was a quick phone call. As much as Y/N loved him, she could not continue to support a man who was insisted on making bad decisions. Y/N had a life, a pretty decent one at that, and she could not have that stripped away by a man who did not know how to be a _grown_ man. 

When he was released, he went back to his job. It was funny. Y/N never minded working for the office of the moving company that she helped Collin and Miles get jobs for. She would see him at least once a day when she needed to transfer documents. Even when he did not see her, she would catch him loading up trucks and would marvel at how good he looked, feeling lucky that he was hers. Now, she wished she could quit and find another job. She already dealt with Miles' bullshit when Collin was away, dismissing his sneers and checking him every time he called her out her name, but even that did not compare to seeing Collin. Their break-up phone call ended with her telling him that their relationship moving forward would be cordial. She could not even bring herself to say "friendly."

So, imagine her surprise when Collin calls asking if she could plait his hair. 

"Why did you take out your hair out?" Y/N grumbled, and with what sounded like more excuses, Collin had convinced her to go to his mother's place to help him. "But only if you help me study for my psychology exam," was what had her packing her satchel and heading over. 

When Y/N came, Collin already had his comb and jar of hair grease ready, holding them out to her. "See? I'm already making your job easy for you."

"Ha ha," she mused, setting her satchel down onto the couch. She sat down for a moment to sift through her notebooks and text books to bring over to one of the tables. She assumed he would sit in one of the chairs as she stood to comb through his curls, but he plopped down on the floor in between her legs, ready to go. Y/N did not fight the position, instead sighing and taking his hair into her hands. 

Y/N could admit, begrudgingly, that the time they were spending was not as bad as she thought it would be. She thought he would not laugh as much due to her callous treatment of him, that he would not look at her in smile in ways that he used to, even when she still called him out on his bullshit. In lieu of awkwardness, they chuckled through her study notes, Y/N knowing every single answer. 

When she had one plait left, Collin leaned back to look at her. "Hey, you know I'm a free bird tomorrow, right?"

The mention of him being in prison was still a sore spot. It was a reminder of what had been. Y/N exhaled. "Yes, I do know."

Collin continued to look at her, something in his gaze resounding of feelings that were more than cordiality. Not liking the spike of her heartbeat, Y/N laughed off her nervousness and pushed his head back down. "I'm happy for you."

"Me too."

She became mean again. She could not help it. She did not need feelings of the past breaking her newly reconstructed barriers. She brought him his criminality, she brought up Miles, she brought up that he needed to take responsibilities for his actions, and he made it obvious that he was tired of always being the bad guy in her eyes, that maybe, it was not the Black guy who caused the trouble, but his white "best friend." 

"Then why won't you just let him go, Collin?"

"Because he's been there. From day one, never leaving my side."

That should not have stung, and Y/N was certain that Collin did not mean for it to. She continued on as if the statement had not bothered her. "He's been there in every way that counts, huh? If he cared so much about you, why does he act a fool knowing that he could get you into trouble? It's because he knows, subconsciously, that he'll always be safe. You don't have that luxury-ever. So why set yourself up like you do?"

Collin sighed, throwing his hands up and letting them drop onto his jeans. "It's just not that simple, babe."

There was a tangible pause in the room after he said that. Y/N knew the term of endearment had slipped, but the fact that it was so readily available on hs tongue had her feeling several emotions at once. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to call you...that." Collin shook his head, clearly embarrassed. "I was just-,"

"It's okay, Collin." 

"I just go caught up in the moment-,"

"_Really_, Collin. It's cool." 

Y/N quieted, not really knowing what to say next. Collin must have not been able to think of anything to say either. Luckily, she was finished with his hair. "And I gotta go." Y/N stood first, moving from around his broad shoulders to pack up her things. He stood and helped her, grabbing a notebook. "I got it, thanks," Y/N assured, stuffing things into her satchel. 

In his gratitude, Collin held out his arms, suggesting a hug. "Can we...is that?" 

Y/N chuckled, stammering a bit, "Yeah, yeah, that's fine." 

"Okay." 

They went into each other's arms. It was not cordial; it was friendly, and Y/N did not mind that. She did not mind it for but a millisecond, because then she was hit with his aroma. It had not changed. It was a dusting of sandalwood mixed with his natural scent. She remembered how much she liked cuddling with him because of that smell. She felt herself relaxing in his arms, her cheek sinking into his shoulder. His arms slowly wrapped tighter around her, their bodies becoming flush. She closed her eyes, relishing. She could feel his heartbeat, and she was relieved it was thumping as fast as hers was. But she did not want to get caught up. 

Y/N pulled back to what she thought was far enough away from him, but she stopped right in front of his face. She was frozen, for once not having a quick comeback that would alleviate the situation. Collin did not look like he wanted it to be alleviated. His dark eyes peered into hers, their proximity becoming hot. His gaze dropped quickly to her lips. Y/N was looking at his, too, and was instantly reminded of the way they used to feel when they were on her body, softly pressing into every nook and cranny that had her toes curling. How soft they always were, when they would get pink, how succulent they looked when he would wet them with his tongue. 

It was as if Collin was reading her mind. He licked his lips before capturing hers with them. 

Y/N wanted to push away, to fight it, but for a moment, just one moment, she let herself feel. She missed him. She missed him so much that it hurt. 

His hands went to cradle her face as he kissed her deeply, his tongue circling hers. His arm dropped back down around her waist and he held her body to his. Her hands went to his hair, filing through his fresh plaits as she allowed their lips to dance a dance it had never lost the steps to. 

His hand went to the small of her back, the same thing his used to do when he wanted her to lie down. He would guide her body onto the flat surface and kiss along her body so well that the sex was just a plus. She knew it was happening. It felt so good that it was. But reality struck. 

She pulled away from him, a wet smack sounding as she did so. She held her finger to his face to stop him from coming close. "This is why I didn't wanna come to your place," she whispered. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then his mother called from downstairs. 

"Collin? It's 10:45, babe!"

"Thank you, Nancy!" Y/N called back, wiping the side of her mouth to rid it of the moistness Collin had managed to get there. 

"Sorry to interrupt!" his mother said, and when it was all silent again, Y/N pulled her satchel back onto her shoulder. 

"I have to go."

"Babe, wait." It was intentional that time, and they both knew it. Y/N tried to step around him, but he stepped in time, stopping her. 

"Collin-,"

"Why can't we be what we used to be?" he came right out with it. Y/N stared at him as if he lost his mind. 

"Because we're not who we used to be."

"Y/N, I was only away for two months. You're gonna stand there and tell me you lost what you felt for me? For us?" 

Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose. "Collin, this is just too difficult to navigate."

He gripped the sides of her arms. "Do you still love me?"

Her mouth opened to answer, but nothing came out. He asked her again, this time his hands going to her face. She snatched away. 

"Yes, all right?! I still love you. I love you with all my goddamn, stupid heart, Collin." Y/N was breathing hard, frustrated that those feelings she thought she burrowed deeply had been brought back to the surface in only seconds. Even as he stood there, she knew that if she were a lesser woman, she would have fallen into the trap of his wholesomeness. She would have let him warm her with his body, let his fingers deep into her and bring forth a climax that was embroidered with thoughts of loveliness. "But I can't be in love with your potential."

Collin's brows furrowed and he took a step back. "What do you mean?" 

Y/N put her fists to her hips, breathing hard as so many thoughts ravaged her brain. "You are a good person, Collin. You care about people. You're a good _man_, one of the best I know. But you don't live to your potential, Collin! You hold onto to toxic friendships, stay at the same shitty jobs? What the hell is _that_?"

"We work for the same damn company!"

"That's not the point, Collin! You could be a professor if you really put your mind to it. All those books and studies you used to read? That class you helped teach your senior year? You could be so much more!" 

"I'm just tryna make my way, Y/N!" 

"By being lesser than?" 

Collin eyed her as if he were seeing someone else. He paced away from her. "That's really what you think of me? That I'm just out here on some bullshit?" 

Y/N crossed her arms. "No. I think you're out here being less than what you could be because you're afraid of letting go of things you love." She shook her head. "i know you love Miles. I do. But what good is he really bringing you? You're not successful because of what he's brought to the friendship. He just helps from keeping you lonely while you're figuring out what the hell you're supposed to make of your life." 

Collin seemed to think of her words for a second, but ultimately, he was against her. "You got it wrong."

"Okay, fine. I'm wrong. Nothing I say matters because your "dear old friend" has convinced you he's down for you when he's not. He should have taken that charge, not you. Fuck the five hundred he put on your books! He knows he started that shit outside the club that night. You should have been home safe from all that shit! Safe with _me_!"

The last part came with a sob she had not known had risen in the back of her throat. She hated herself for that. Collin did not need to know the nights she spent up crying over him after he was sentenced. How she felt he single-handedly ruined their future. When Collin said nothing, his eyes dropping from hers, Y/N straightened. "I wanted a life with you, Collin. Not just because I loved you, but because the potential of who you could be shined. I was in love with the thought of who you could be, but I realize now that's just not enough."

"Y/N, please." Collin went over to her, his hands on either side of her neck and his forehead pressing against hers. "Let me show you the kind of man I can be."

Y/N gripped his wrists, letting a tear fall. "I can't keep sitting around and waiting for you to be that person, Collin. I need you to be that person _here _and_ now_. I have to go." 

She moved from his grasp and headed toward the stairs, but then thought better of leaving him like that. As much as she wanted to hurt him for how much he had inadvertently hurt her, she could not bring herself to do it. She stepped back to him slowly, her gaze begging for him to understand, before she reached up and planted a last, solid kiss on his lips. When she pulled away, she whispered, "I love you, Collin. I love you. But I need more than your potential." 

She left him then, her heart and pride sulking.

\- - -

A/N

_So I go through these random, obsessive stages with the Diggs and kept thinking of how I would react if I were in Val's situation in "Blindspotting." I hope you all enjoyed!_


End file.
